“In returning and rest you shall be saved; In quietness and confidence shall be your strength.”
Isaiah 30:15 (NKJV)
To Wander
As I stumble along a returning road to my Heavenly Father, I find breaking through like pools of sunlight through dark cloud heartfelt relief and resurrected wonder and delight as I find Jesus waiting for me right where in left him. Instead of a stern gaze that would compound shame, there is tender eagerness born of an eternal love that has eagerly waited for me to return.
The prodigal son story that Jesus told starts with the youngest son deciding that he was going to do life his way and in the worst of insults felt his Father’s very life was a hindrance to him living as he pleased laden with his Father’s inherited estate. I’m sure many of you reading this can relate but certainly there have been times in my life and examples of late where I have been under that same delusion that prompted the youngest son to turn prodigal: that my way is best and that my Heavenly Father is slowing me down, is a hindrance of let down with how I want my life, health, finances or relationships to be. When lesser things occupy my mind, I can forget the enormity of who Father God is and His character that defines perfection of Holy compassion upon those He calls beloved children in Christ.
Disappointment with God can be a key ingredient in our wandering as we forget the heart of the one whose affections we have decided temporarily or more permanently to spurn. Instead of kneeling before the one who gave up everything and emptied himself of everything to be led to the cross so that we can call God Abba, Father in close and intimate affection, we kneel before the feet of idols and preoccupations that we mistakenly believe will fill that empty need aching inside. Whilst we wander as we see fit our saviour longingly looks on, waiting for us to return to him.
To Return
Once all is indulged and every last solution has expired and come up short, we feel the pangs of home sickness rising in us. Realising that what we thought would render us sorted and fulfilled has still left us empty.
The feet of your heart are already carrying on the road back to him as a whisper and cry ascends from your lips in heartfelt prayer, “God im sorry, why did I ever walk away, I am spent, and I don’t know what to do.” Maybe you have felt that same concern and dread that ailed the prodigal son on his return journey plagued by questions such as “Will God still accept me or even receive me after what I have done? What will he say to me? Will he still be angry with me?
For answer, you only have to look at the Father’s response in the story of the prodigal son when his son returns to discover how true the scriptural insight on God’s heart truly is: that His compassions which are numerous and many never fail and are daily renewed (See Lamentations 3:22-23)
“But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him. “The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’ “But the father said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet.Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate. For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’”
Luke 15: 20-24 (NIV)
As you return in your heart, you find instead of what you feared might be a cold shoulder, God running to you, His arms outstretched flung open in joyful welcome and exuding from his countenance pure delight in your return. Any shame you may feel is covered by robes given by your Heavenly Father and nothing more is spoken of what the crooked path wandered down. The unfolding story of the prodigal son bears witness to this.
In moments of returning, I realise most keenly as I’m sure you do, how precious we truly are to God and the height depth, breadth of His mercy and love that reaches far above our human concept of what love is. In these moments we can be undone by the enormity of what you and I feel we deserve or rather don’t deserve then being consumed within the unfolding arms of an everlasting love, undeserved but given willingly by a loving divine heart for a broken humanity that he desires restored to Him in relationship.
Remember this unfailing love as a deep encouragement of our Heavenly Father’s heart poured out in mercy and compassion daily and that we may extend this same love we have received to others who like us are not always fully deserving of it.
©2021. B. Trowbridge
Abba's Dearly Beloved 